Guys are like diapers...They stick to your @$$
& are all full of $h!t.
Lets play Titanic...You say ICEBERG and i'll go down!
Wanna play army? Lay down and ill blow the hell outta you
Sex is not the answer, it's the question...The answer is YES
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, the softer the bed the better the screw
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.... throw me down and tie me up... SHOW ME THAT YOU LIKE ME!
Im not under the affluence of incahol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thrunk as you dink.I fool so feelish, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get
She took off his pants gently and wispered: Make me a woman... He smiled, threw the pants at her and said: Go wash it.
There are 3 kinds of people- Those who can count and those who can't
You're just jealous coz the voices are talking to me and not you
For sale- Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic
I'm on a seafood diet, every time i see food, I eat i
I have pms and a gun...Now what were u saying?
How can i miss you if you won't go away?
The way i see it is that the more people who hate me, the less people I have to get along with.
Don't drink and drive...you might spill you drink
"My mum told me that she learned to swim when someone took her out into the river and threw her off the boat. I said 'mum, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim!"
No wonder you always go home alone
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been
anywhere.
I asked the Goddess for a flower she gave me a garden
I asked for a tree she gave me a forest
I asked for a river she gave me an ocean
I asked for a friend she gave me you
Sex is good, sex is fine, doggie style or 69, just for fun, or getting paid, everyone loves getting laid, so if ya want me in the sack, lick ur lips n call me back
A friend is someone who knows all about you, and loves you just the same.
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
a humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.
A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
Friendships multiply joys and divide griefs.
***What we see depends mainly on what we look for.***
You cannot raise a man up by calling him down.
Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it.
Dream as if youll live forever. Live as if youll die today.
If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think you dare not, you dont. If youd like to win, but you think you cant it is almost certain you wont. If you think youll lose, youve lost. For out in the world youll find success begins with a fellows will. It s all in the state of mind. If you think you are outclassed, you are. Youve got to think high to rise. Youve got to be sure of yourself before you can ever win a prize. Lifes battles dont always go to the stronger or faster man, but soon or late the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.
It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
